2013 Here I Come

I find it rather ironic and hipsteresque to be doing this, but I feel that for me it is a tool for learning, healing and goals. This has been a year of trials and tribulations that my life has had yet to experience. Lots of twists and turns and ins and outs. Lots and lots and lots of learning about myself. It's difficult to accept that the person you've always viewed yourself to be is not always the person you truly are through your actions. It's also interesting to discover that about those around you. So, as one could imagine, I have many goals in the coming year to keep me on track with becoming a better version of myself each and every day. They are as follows.

1) Treat those I love with compassion and never take a second with them for granted.
2) Treat others as I would truly want to be treated if I were in their shoes.
3) Continue chasing my passions with vigor.
4) Do something outside of my comfort zone.
5) Focus on things that enrich my life and avoid anything that would negatively affect it.
6) Look less to the future and live more in today.
7) Live by the words that I write.
8) Take that road trip.
9) Do anything I'd like to before becoming a mother.
10) Live as healthy of a lifestyle as is reasonable and possible.

The Red Hot Revolution

I've always prided myself on being pretty submerged in the world of music. It's just part of me, I suppose. Throughout the years, I've seen upwards of fifty acts- everything from country, to Christian, to rap, reggae, and rock. I've seen a little bit of everything, but I was not at all prepared for what was in store for me when I went to see one of my favorite bands of all time, The Red Hot Chili Peppers.

It was cold outside the Rose Quarter, in the lines of fans waiting to check their tickets and start rocking. That 30 minutes felt like a brief eternity, but it was well worth it when my husband and I made our way to our seats and realized that we were only 6 rows up from the side of the stage. Couldn't have gotten a better view if we'd tried.

We were taking some run of the mill Facebook pictures on our phones when I spotted Blackie Dammett, Anthony Kiedis' dad. I don't know what's wrong with me, to be honest, because I'd like to think I'm one of those cool fans that doesn't get star struck. But no, I blurted out without thinking, "Hey! That's Anthony's Dad!!!" My husband of course turned around just in time to see Blackie booking it the other way. Sweet, so I had become that fan. Yuck.  I tried to compose myself after being really embarrassed by my lack of discretion (although in all fairness, there were literally 4 people in our section at the time and none of them heard me). We settled in, welcomed some good friends we hadn't seen in forever, and readied ourselves for a wild night.

The opening band was The Rebirth Brass Band, a New Orleans based group that was full of funk and soul. I couldn't help but bop along to the beat of the snare drum as it mingled with the sax, trumpet, trombone, and tuba. I fought the urge to stand up and bust out some salsa moves that I didn't even know I had until I felt it in that music! The only disappointment I had with this fantastic opener was that the entire audience seemed to have a lack of enthusiasm for these amazing musicians. There were very few people even moving, and none were standing. Since we're being candid here, I was a bit embarrassed that Portland would react in such a way. I know they have more soul than that and it seemed really disrespectful to be "too cool" for a band that was showing up everyone, and had just traveled here from the other side of the country.

Remember now that our seats were stage right, so before anyone else realized it, I saw Flea come out, all incognito in a beanie and big ol puffy jacket (like we wouldn't recognize someone with his build and moves at his show). I had read that he really loved this band, so it was cool to get to see him enjoy their music as a fan himself, dancing along, moving with the grooves. He has always played trumpet and I can imagine that he must have a great respect for these guys, because they really brought it! It was sad to see that once people around Flea realized it was him watching, that they bothered him and tried to get pictures and talk to and touch him. He literally just ignored them and tried to enjoy the show, but it became a fruitless effort and he had to move away from his fans, presumably so that they would focus on Rebirth rather than him. I'm proud to say that when I noticed him, I just whispered to my husband that that's who was down there, but didn't say anything else so that no one in our section at least would do anything.I realized then more than ever that Flea and the rest of the guys were just like myself or my husband, people that love music and like to experience it. Yeah, they have sweet jobs, but at the end of the day, we're all just people. As that reality sunk in a little more, I stopped worrying about what Flea was doing and soaked in Rebirth and the incredible talent that I was lucky enough to experience. If at any time in my life I have another chance to see them, I'm going to boogie down so hard, because I'm already regretting not letting loose and living it up as completely as I could have during their show.

Changing sets after Rebirth created a sense of anticipation that was palpable. The whole Rose Garden just was buzzing and I could hear people all around me talking about how stoked they were to be there and guessing what songs would be played. And before we knew what hit us, the lights were down and this show was getting started.

I've heard stories about the on stage antics and chemistry between these guys, but it's a whole different medium to experience first hand. It is so apparent that they have several decades of experience working with one another and learning how to play off each other. Had no one known that Josh was only in his second official year with the band, they'd have never sensed it otherwise. He fit into the crazy crew like the missing piece of a puzzle. I really can't describe Josh's presence other than to say that it makes sense to me that he and John have collaborated together, because they both have a quiet confidence about them- and this kind of indescribable comfort in what they are doing. It's like Josh was just really lost in his guitar, letting himself channel through it, letting it move him wherever it chose to. I gained a new found respect for him because of that. He was dressed in a ragged over sized t-shirt and some really normal red track pants, looked nothing like the rock star he is, but it didn't matter because his heart was pouring out of his guitar and that overshadowed everything else about him. Anthony's dance moves were so clearly from what he was feeling and not in any way choreographed or planned, and I loved that so much about him. It took all of two songs for him to lose his shirt, and I don't think a soul in that place was surprised when it happened. Anthony is  as known for being half naked as he is being a health nut. This aspect of his life was made apparent by the fact that at 50 years old, he was in very good shape and looked nothing short of  healthy and vibrant. For some reason, seeing his famous tattoos in person was another one of those humbling moments that made me realize that he's just a guy, mind you with sweet tattoos, but there's nothing mystical about them, other than that they mean something special to him personally. Anyway- Anthony and Flea just did whatever felt good, and sometimes that included galloping around, other times it was rocking that bass so hard it just made sense to lay on the ground to do it. This free spirited nature took Flea across the stage in a walking hand stand that could probably rival an amateur gymnast.  I found it to be really endearing that Anthony and Flea wore coordinating one and a half leg pants with tube socks and sneaks. It seemed kind of like an homage to the days when they did far more inappropriate things with their wardrobe, or lack thereof. Chad had a really great energy about him and seemed content in his role which is the funny guy, Mr.Personality. But mostly, he's just a really incredible drummer who seems to absolutely love what he is doing. He was throwing out drum sticks every few beats there for a while and got the hugest grin on his face when he'd look out at the crowd. We got a really good  taste of his fun side when he hung from the lighting fixture at the end of the night, and  left the stage with the standard tongue out, rock on horns in the air before he was out.

All of these elements collided in such a way that a really beautiful show was born. Although the lights and effects really added to the atmosphere, I would have been completely content to have them on a bare stage with a white background. I was just in awe of these men I'd grown up listening to and was so excited to be sharing this moment with my husband and friends. It really was surreal in so many ways. The set list was comprised of a wide variety of their best songs, not all huge hits, but well worth experiencing nonetheless. I've always been a bigger fan of some of their b-sides and lesser known songs, so it was awesome to hear Universally Speaking and Can't Stop right along with Snow and Under The Bridge. It was a well rounded experience in terms of the songs that were displayed. I've read that the Chili's don't often change up this set much, but as far as I'm concerned, they could do any combination of every song they played that night for every show forever on and it would still be an unforgettable time.

This is definitely speculation, but I would say Anthony must have been sick that night, as he was sipping tea consistently between songs.  Maybe it was just the effects of being on tour that was roughing up his voice a bit, maybe nothing was wrong, I have no idea. Regardless, his voice sounded incredible, far greater than I expected it to be live, actually. The one time he was having a tough time, he took a tea break and Flea and Josh gladly obliged to jamming with Chad for a bit. I thought it was so awesome that they had this synergy about them, always facing one another, feeling the music and letting it lead the jam. That is what music is all about, allowing it to just be, rather than creating a template for what we expect it to become. That was another really big moment for me that night, as i looked out at the crowd and realized how everyone was so pumped and moved by this beautiful thing that was happening onstage, I realized the immense power of music can have over our emotions. It can make us feel some intense things, and in that moment, I felt a sense of pride for these men and what they have preserved over the years and evolved into.

Of course no show can go on with only a band, there are always people behind the scenes and sometimes on stage, that help make it happen. Case in point: Mauro Refosco, a brilliant, well educated, trained percussionist from Brazil that played so many unidentifiable instruments that I can't even begin to explain. He played this thing that looked like a tree of tambourines, some bongos, and several other types of percussion instruments that made the concert so much better for their contribution of texture to the music. He jammed with Chad during a solo and that was really awesome to see because they were really in their zone. It was pretty clear that he was having a great time as well, which helped for sure. The addition of Mauro to the I'm With You album, and on tour, is proof that RHCP has discovered over the years that expanding their breadth of instrumental variety adds so much dimension to their music. I compare where they are now to the Blood Sugar Sex Magik album (which is amazing, don't misunderstand here), and they are two different musical forces. It was a real pleasure to have the opportunity to experience a musical evolution, as it were, in the concert as they visited a little bit of several of their albums. I feel that this showed the stark contrast of where the Chili Peppers have been as a band over the years.

As the last notes of Give It Away wrapped up, I instantly began to miss this show I'd been looking forward to for months  that I didn't want to admit was over. Never in my life had I experienced something so musically unforgettable as this concert. There are some moments in your life you know that you will hold in such high regard that you will use them as the standard by which to compare all other similar experiences. By a landslide, The Red Hot Chili Peppers set and hold that standard in my heart, and will forever be the act that I will be comparing my coming musical adventures to.

Cheers to the Chili's for an unbelievable night. 

Forgiveness

One of my many aims in life is to love like this woman loves. At the end of my life, I want to know that I used my ability to do the hardest thing that we as humans can do: forgive. We are all called to it and have been given it freely, and yet we so rarely take advantage of such a tremendous opportunity. How free of our soul's cancers we'd be if we just stepped out into the uncomfortable air, breathed it in, and accepted that this too is part of life we must face to get to the good stuff.

I hope you took the time to watch this video. It is well worth the 5 minutes it takes out of your life.

Fool's Gold

With desperation I grasp in this way and that
Hoping that I'll have enough when the day is done
In the secrecy of my humble abode, I gently unload my loot
This precious gold that was never my own
In its reflection I can see stories lived out by those better than myself
Smiling, laughing, playing, dancing
For them it was never a facade, it was simply life
Jealously feeds my intentions with force
And I ferociously piece the thieved goods into one
Try as I may, I can create nothing greater than a mosaic
Beaming faces of young children and of wise elders stare back at me without judgement
They never knew me, but their happiness flows over still
My hands tremble as I attempt to mount this beautiful new plaquard
Of stolen souls and fool's gold
Its beauty is radiant and I want to get lost in it forever
But I know that behind the perfect veneer hides a most disappointing feature
The truth
It exists out of sight but is ever present
These memories, they were never mine, and they can never be
I must return them before their rightful owners are made aware
As I yearn to  hang my prized possession, I instead let it fall to the floor and shatter
Into pieces it falls, and in pieces I must return it
One by one, I make my peace with those I have tried shamefully to mimic
Yet painfully failed to be
 When at last I am devoid of anything but myself, I sit alone and ponder
If I will ever be anything greater than a thief of beautiful moments
I must replace my wanting with a greater good
Perhaps it is time for me to begin my own plaquard
Comprised of me and you and all that has ever been
Yet I somehow failed to see
It is there I will find the inspiration
For my own authentic masterpiece

Family

"Other things may change us, but we start and end with family. "

Very few quotes hit home with me quite like this one. It pierces my heart and fills me with joy and humbleness. This simple sentence is a reflection of many of the fibers interwoven into my being, the mere threads that hold me together.

 For someone inexperienced in life as myself, I have endured many a heartache. I made decisions that I wasn't proud of and my actions often screamed volumes about the state of my soul. I've been a wreck, a hot mess, if you will, to the point of desperation. When my pain wasn't self inflicted, it seemed to find me from other sources-friends, boyfriends, growing pains, death. The latter found me much earlier than anyone would be willing to welcome it, and as much as its presence always hurt, I found that I numbed to the dark cloud that loomed over those trying times in a way that was necessary. And it just kept coming back, for eight visits by my 21st birthday.

In those hours of darkness, when all I could do was doubt myself and my life's direction, it was hard to stand tall enough to reach out for a hand to help. When I cried myself to sleep because all I wanted was the simplicity of a hug or a spoken word from someone I'd lost, I often tried to conceal it for fear of inflicting more hurt on those I cared about. What I slowly began to realize however, was that when I needed it the most, I always had a hand to lift me up and an embrace to lean into- I just had to open my eyes to it.

Being a woman now, looking back on my life as a child, I see how immensely blessed I have been to grow up in the family that I have. My parents aren't and never were perfect, but they love each other and have endured a lot together- 29 years worth of life lessons they have earned. Each of them has a unique story to tell and used their experiences to teach my brother and I the truly important aspects of life-to love one another, treat everyone as you would want to be treated, and that we are wonderful just exactly the way we are.

Whether we had blue hair and started a band, or were dance fanatics with a secret  affinity for poetry, we were always accepted by our parents. I'm sure it wasn't easy to support two radically different children in the same home- especially as teens. But they always honored our free will, and they endured more than their share of  teen anguish. Yet they persevered. There were times our foundation would crack, only to be mended by our refusal to give up. We are a family, and families stick together to the very end, at least some, like ours, are lucky enough to have such a luxury.

Somewhere along the way, my brother and I grew up. It's like it happened over night, we woke up one day and had lives of our own- homes to take care of, bills to pay. Suddenly the invisible tasks that we'd never detected before as part of life became very apparent. I know that in those early adult years we both gained appreciation for what we'd always been given- a carefree home. We'd never been burdened with the issues behind the scenes. We'd been made accountable for that which was worthy of a child or teen to take responsibility for, but the rest was handled by our parents.

 Every member of our little family is as different as each of the cardinal directions. We have our flaws and our quirks, but the blood flowing through our veins that is rich in love much exceeds those frivolous details. It's our common thread that we can claim. A heritage that gathers pieces of many nations, yet is rooted in our homeland, that unites us.

I never realized until I was old enough to understand that there were stories that didn't start or end as happily as mine that I was, and am to this day, very fortunate. It wasn't until we almost lost the patriarchal piece of our perfectly fit puzzle that I realized what I had to lose.

In the moment that I stepped into that hospital, and saw the man who had dedicated his life to helping give me everything he could, lying weakly in a bed with wires attached to his heart, I realized that all I had ever really loved existed in that small room. He was joined by the woman who endured a lifetime of hurt before she reached high school, yet grew up to be a strong and vibrant soul. The kid who had grown into a strong and brilliant man that supported me in every way with his quiet, protective approval was there hurting with us. They were my life. And thankfully, all three of them are still here to share each moment with. I believe that our strength and support is largely responsible for my Dad's recovery, aside from the real and true blessing that it was.

I am not here to boast of a life of superiority. I have endured much, and have many years of challenges ahead of me, like anyone walking this Earth in today's world. Yet I know that I am not alone, because even when the world fails me and I feel I'm standing on my own, I never will be. There  is a safety net of my own flesh and blood at the ready if ever I should stumble, and I know where my place  is in that net when I, too, have the responsibility to catch one that I love.

There are many things I have yet to learn and few that I know for sure. But of this I am certain, the one constant in this physical life is the family we've been given. I am thankful for the extraordinary souls that make up mine, for they have made all the difference. 

Inconclusive

My mind wanders round you in circles
Mystified, perplexed, and content
You are not black, nor are you white
Some transient rainbow of all that lies in between
That seems to be your palette, my friend
With hearty tools of theory I dissect you
But the conclusion is always the same
Inconclusive
You can't be boxed or caged
Try as I may, I will never tame you enough for the answer
Yet maybe somewhere stirring within me
Mingling with the curiosity of your mystery
Is the fact that I don't want to know
Without the burden of your secret's unraveling, I can dream
And fly around your heart as I ponder
The root of your existence

The evolution of a dream

Most everyone has a dream. Not everyone does something about that dream.

James Bishop is one person who goes against the grain in this way. He had a far fetched goal that he wanted more than anything in the world- to have his favorite band play at his wedding this coming July. Today, 460 days later, Bish got his wish. Here's a recap of how it all began.

Step 1- Go out on a limb

Bishop and Douch explain their campaign for the first time.

Step 2- Make it personal

The guys launch a Mac Attack!!

Step 3-Take to the streets

Bishop and Douch take the campaign on tour in the UK and get to pitch their request face to face with their favorite band.

Step 4- Persevere

Each day without fail, Bishop or Douch (or both) made a video explaining what it would mean if Hanson played the wedding.

Step 5- Endure

A very bad day

Bishop discovers that Hanson has booked a gig in the US the day of his wedding, making it literally impossible to make his one wish come true.



Step 6- An unexpected surprise

After 458 days of silence, Hanson presents an offer that is too good to pass up!


Step 7- Give thanks

Bishop responds to the reality that he is going to get to give his new wife the opportunity of a lifetime, thanks to the one band he thought he'd never get to involve in the happiest day of his life.


This entire campaign is just visible proof that perseverance pays off. Will Hanson play every fan's honeymoon from this day forward? I doubt it will ever happen again. But for the guy who recruited a sole comrade to help single handedly tackle an impossible feat,  today he receives the gift he once could only dream of.

Congratulations to James Bishop and the soon to be Mrs.Jennie Bishop! Accolades are also in order for Chris Douch, who helped make the campaign everything it was. I know I won't be the only one missing your guys'  hilarious videos.

Maybe we're just going to have to start a campaign of our own... Bishop and Douch Do America?   I say you take the comedy duo on the road, guys!!!!

20 songs you probably haven't heard and are missing out on.

Disclaimer: I never stated that you and I had the same taste in music, so keep that in mind as you browse along. ;)

The following are 20 of the best songs (in my opinion) that are not well known to the general public and deserve a bit more recognition.

1) Dosed- RHCP
This is one of those songs that I personally never heard of until recently and man am I wishing I'd been aware it was released as a single a decade ago! Frusciante's gorgeous riffs and incredible harmonies, Anthony's singing. It all just fell together so smoothly. I like the subdued feel of it, but also the crazy passion behind the song as well. Definitely a diamond in the rough! I belt this one out so hard in my car that it's embarrassing. I dare you not to do the same now that you've heard it.

2)
Hands for Battle- Nice Guy, Mean Mug

I've tried several times to liken this band to others when trying to explain their style to my friends. It's kind of impossible, and that's good in a world of music that tends to run together like a puddle of undefined watercolors. All of their music just gets me pumped. The vocals are slick, guitar and drums just rip it up. It's amazing how well it all fits together, considering how much is going on all at once. Add to that just the slightest touch of screamo and there you have it- a feel good anthem about making sacrifices to get where you're going. Yet another sing along for the car ride home.

3) The Theory of Funkativity- This City

How can you not just feel the passion these guys exude? They create some seriously brilliant music!!!! The lead singer (Pat) has a really individual voice and I personally am a big fan of it. You have to visit theoryoffunk.com to actually understand what this band is capable of. It'll blow you out of the water, I guarantee it. They're more about the journey of music rather than focusing on nothing but hit after hit. Yet another great example of the direction a lot of our generation of indie artists have taken, which I for one can say that I'm quite proud of.

4) Eclectic Approach- Cool

Seriously, if this song doesn't get you in the mood to do some kind of partying, I'm not sure you have ears. This is one of those that's a hook, line, and sinker right from the get go. Saw these guys as openers for a favorite band and could not believe my ears, it felt like they were the headliners. Complete show stoppers with their stage presence. Although the song in and of itself is just cool (no pun intended), the mixture of rap, harmony, and actual musicianship is exciting. 

5) Hanson-Make It Alright

So much about this unreleased track is atypical for Hanson. Let me explain: Zac's voice is not normally that filthy, for lack of a better word. To most, it may sound just like a funked out song with a good chorus. But to anyone familiar with Hanson's music from about 2001 on, you know that this isn't par for the course. The style is completely separate from their usual work. I LOVE it, and I don't at all mean that in the pervy way you may think. It's just nice to have a wild card thrown in there sometimes. It's fun when artists experiment with different sounds. The funk in this song is great. And can I mention Isaac's sick guitar skills here? All around a hit. Sorry for those of you who think these guys musically died at MmmBop, that was really just the beginning.

6) Jars of Clay- Art In Me

For those of you not familiar with Jars of Clay, I'll share why I'm a fan and you can make up your own mind. I really appreciate that lyrically they're not too concerned with wowing everyone and bringing attention to themselves. Their music is very much focused on God and His glory. The lead singer (Dan Haseltine) has a voice unlike any other, making their music easy to identify and set apart from the rest. All around, this has been one of my favorite bands since I was a little tween.

7) Brook Fraser- Albertine

There are so many reasons this is an amazing song, and you will understand all of them if you listen to the lyrics. It's that simple. Absolutely incredible message that we all should hear. We are very very lucky to live in a the 1st world, and it's our responsibility if nothing else, to be aware of those who are not as fortunate and what they face daily.

8)
Scartographer- Horizon album

I went to school with this guy and seriously, his guitar skills blow my mind. I remember him playing for our class once and I was stunned- but this is a different level of awesome from where he was then. Newly signed, with a brand new album, he's got more than enough great tracks to keep you busy for a while. If you are into instrumentals that provide your brain with a lot more bite than elevator background noise, you have to check him out. It seems like the whole spectrum of musical extremes are visited in this collection of songs. Scartographer just rips it up in every song, all of which are arranged really well and provide enough variety to keep you far from boredom. Start with Perfecting the Archetype though, it'll set the stage for what you're about to experience.

9) Eric Hutchinson- Oh

I won't elaborate much on this one. I just love the song so much. It's incredibly catchy and fun. And it won't ever get out of my head after I listen to it. You know it's good if you're brains still noshing on the melody 3 hours later.

10) Keaton Simons- Currently

Ok, ladies, if I have to explain this one, I totally give up! But seriously, this man is the definition of a true musician, he's got the whole package- style, musical ability, unique voice, original lyrics. This one sounds like summer time to me. What you guys  think?


11) Justin Young- Sip Your Wine

Wow. Just wow, really. Been a long time fan of Justin's. Even though there's pretty blatant innuendos in this song, I even refer friends to it as a first Justin Young song because it really showcases his talent so well. He's got mad acoustic skills, and a very soothing voice. Good relaxation music. Definitely on my list of artists to see live.

12) Fountains of Wayne- Someone To Love

 I love Fountains of Wayne for a lot of reasons, one of them being that just hearing Adam's voice reminds me of Stacy's Mom. Come on, you can't deny that you sang that song on loop in the early millennium period. This song is a bit reminiscent of the 90's for me  (even though it's from '07) and the video is hilarious. The chorus is impossible to forget and it's another that I'll be singing later into the night because it's now brainwashed into my head again after watching this video!

13) Tinted Windows- Messing With My Head

This band has nothing but catchy songs. Their sound is very late 80's, early 90's. Never mind that it's comprised of members from Cheap trick, Smashing Pumpkins, Fountains of Wayne, and Hanson. As a super group, they mesh well and create light hearted, very poppy tunes. They seem comfortable in this niche, as you can hear in this upbeat song about the nature of women torturing men with their mind games. Ladies, we knew they'd catch on at some point!

14) Icarus Account- MayDay

Oh boy are you all in for a surprise! The twins of the Icarus Account are acoustic wizards. They make magic, I tell ya! For men, they've got great range in their voices and they keep the music simple, but relate able. Like this one, the songs are always clean, but well done. I definitely look forward to what their musical career holds!

15) Red Hot Chili Peppers- Funny Face

If you've ever wondered what it might sound like if Flea went all reggae on us, this is your musical answer. I was absolutely floored when I heard this Stadium Arcadium B-side. I'm already a fan of reggae, and you could, well you could say I may just fancy the Red Hots, so you can imagine my reaction when I accidentally stumbled across this gem. This is my summer jam, hands down, no discussion. Tell me you don't love this. I may not believe you even if you did :)

16) Hanson- Hope It Comes soon

This song has everything I want out of music- a clear and positive message, great vocals, a catchy chorus, and of course actual instrumentals. Taylor's got a very distinct voice that he has developed into an unmistakable sound over the years and this is one of my favorite examples of his vocal ability. I'm pretty partial to music done in the name of philanthropy, so that has a lot to do with why I love this song. It was born during their Take The Walk effort to provide aid to Africa after their visit there.


17) Thousand Foot Krutch- Rawkfist

Ok, if we're being honest, my selection has been a bit swayed thus far. Here's one that's sure to appeal to the guys (and maybe some of the ladies, like myself). Rawkfist is just completely brimming with energy. It's the perfect song to workout to because it doesn't have a moment where it lacks adrenaline. One word to describe it: infectious. The chorus will undoubtedly have you barking or growling or whatever dude sound that is that comes out. All I know is I love it. Fantastic song. Easily one of my husband's all time favorites.

18)  Danyew-Beautiful King

Easily one of the best songs I've heard live in terms of connection with the artist and the lyrics. Very intimate worship song that is not only gorgeous in terms of arrangement, but the depth of the meaning behind it. I do believe I saw him open for David Crowder Band. Amazing.

19) Seabird- Don't You Know You're Beautiful

We had a chance to see these guys open for David Crowder Band as well. It was yet another of those moments where it felt like we were seeing this band as a headlining act, rather than an opener. Their sound is so catchy and real. Obviously there a real talent for writing songs present as well. This is one that I wish every single girl( and guy) aged 9-18 could hear. It could have a great affect on their self esteem during that really difficult, awkward time that they need to be reminded that they're valued.


20) Alicia Keys- Lovin You

This is a sweet little ditty with a lot of soul. I love the simplicity of the lyrics coupled with the passion that backs them. Faulous track to totally geek out to when no one is around to see you belt it out with a hairbrush microphone in your hand. Don't even act like you've never done that, folks! We're all pop stars behind closed doors, it's a cold hard fact.

I recently dug up some of my old poetry from high school. The following few are examples of it.

Forever turning tables of time

Always my unconditional source, I count on you to be there for me,

Strength, patience, kindness, a perfect model of who I want to be.

Sticking to your every word even when the going gets tough,

No matter the sacrifice, you find a way to keep our spirits up.

A challenge now lies in the way of your path,

But I see no thought of surrender, no looking back.

Still yet to fall are the tears I see well up in your eyes,

But when a warrior is in battle, there's no time to cry.

Living life to the fullest, you've done your best to overcome,

Those unexpected obstacles, that are cruel and so loathsome.

Now the time’s marching on, as the soldiers in your fight,

You’re body changes everyday but your smile is still bright.

I’ve been given the gifts of your love, stories, and advice,

Everyday I am thankful to have been part of your life.

It's hard to consider a life without you here

I don't want to accept it, but even you see your end is near. 

Before you leave and join the Heavenly hosts

Promise me one thing, it's what I want the most. 

Give me one last chance to hold you as tight as I feel

So I can imprint you on my heart and never forget that you were real.

As the thunder rolls I step outside without inhibition

Just in time to see lighting streak the sky

Water pours down with ferocity

I can't pretend to ignore the reflection

I see of my soul's storm

Watching with pain, I see your smile in my mind

I hear your laugh echoing with the falling droplets

Feeling memories from years passed

Warms my heart and then leaves me shivering cold

I wish that I could, but I can’t, explain all this pain

It's like acid’s infiltrated this rain

And as it falls down upon my face

I receive the overwhelming sting of your death

Feeling so empty and small in the presence of nature's power

I look for answers in the sky

Hoping for anything to get me by

Beautiful, dark clouds collide,grumble, and then burst

I close my eyes to hear the gentle whisper of your words

Our golden memories flood my head

For one blissful second, again you’re not dead

In a moment drenched in nothing and everything all at once

I remember those good times when you'd spit your rhymes

I see you move with the beat, like it's rhythm was yours eternally

Those good days when your very presence filled a place

Everything you mean to me is locked in these precious memories

Dripping with pain and soaked to the bone

I think of your music and how it changed me

Because of you, I learned  Pac said “Life Goes On”

But how, and why, do you choose to move along

When the heart lives in the past

Where you, my friend, still breathe

All I want is to see your face and that smile

But now it hurts to even hear your name

I don't think I'll ever be the same

The anger from the sky is slowly letting up

I can see a ray of hope straining to share some beauty through the darkness

It's liberating to see that truly, "for every dark night there's a brighter day"

But I'm not ready to dry up, nor am I ready to say goodbye

 

Yet I know you’d wish no tears

You gave direct orders to live and love our years

With a smile and a tear, I begrudgingly welcome the sun

Appearing behind a cloud to showcase a rainbow 

I could pretend this isn't what it is

But I know better than to throw aside any of God's gifts

Though it’s hard to fully understand

I know you’re on the side of His right hand

You look down from time to time

Because,like now, I can feel you by my side

It's the hardest move I'll have to make

But I steady myself and muster the strength to turn

... and walk away

Stripped to the core I make my first step

Toward a new life without you

And without all that you've ever been for me
 

With a heavy heart, I ache for those you loved

I pray that in their lives they find peace

And for them  genuinely to believe

That this storm is God’s sign, symbolic of terrible, grieving times

But still a promise to them, and to me

That the Sun will return eventually

Words could never express what you mean to me

Thank you for our golden memories

All is still

Stomach knots

Light pops

Curtains rise

Crowd stares

Time stops

Bass drops

Fear is gone

And I DANCE…

Rebirth

The world’s seductive voices

Whispered in my mind constantly

It was in that time that I began to drown

In the darkest of all seas

I swam around this lonely world

Circling temptations heart

And in this time of misconception

My mind and soul began to part

As the last of depths approached

I reached rock bottom, agony

My will was gone and mind was numb

Caught in the devil’s ecstasy

As I gazed up into the dark

I was caught in disbelief

A blinding light shone down with warmth

A giant hand surrounded me

Without the slightest of a doubt

I knew that I had been saved

As we surfaced and I first breathed

The air of the unslaved

My God had watched my every move

Saw me falter, trip, and sin

Yet when I could bare no more

He appeared

 And my birth took place again

Hanson At My Wedding:The Ultimate Fan's Dream

On February 15, 2011, James Bishop (Bish) and Chris Douch (Douch) began a journey of epic proportions: To get their favorite band, Hanson, to play at Bish's wedding on July 28th of this year. To succeed in this effort, they've made a video every day since they began (394 to be exact), asking Hanson to play the wedding and giving various reasons as to why they should do it. They're still going strong, and plan to continue down to the day of the wedding, or until they get an official answer from the band.

To get a better idea of what is going on behind the scenes of Hanson At My Wedding (HAMW), I got a hold of Douch to ask a few things that I (and likely other supporters) want to know.

It all went a little something like this:

D: Hey guys...I'm Danielle,  from Oregon in the US and supporter of your effort :) I'm pretty excited to ask you a few questions and try to get a some more support for Hanson At My Wedding (HAMW) before the big day arrives!
CD: Danielle,
Thanks very much for sending these. Bish is on a training course today so I hope you don't mind but I've answered all the questions from the Douch POV. If you want some input from Bish, let me know. We generally just have Bish answer questions since he's the groom, but I thought this might be a good opportunity to get some of my thoughts out there. Hope that's cool with you?
(By the way Douch, it was great to mix it up and get your perspective, thanks!)
 
D: You've heard it time and again, but wow, you are impossibly persistent men!  I wanted to commend you for that. As the guys from Hanson themselves said, if it were to be anyone else, this whole initiative might come off as creepy (considering you're making them movies every day for over a year now...), but you're light-hearted and humorous about it, so you've changed the game a bit I suppose. Actually, you kind of created the game, didn't you? This whole HAMW thing is a first, I do believe! At the very least, the first on this level. Like all of your fans, I very sincerely hope that you are able to get them to play the wedding, because let's be honest, how could Jennie ever get over that? The very fact that you're willing to go to these lengths to try to land them as the band to play the wedding is pretty incredible, Bish. Yes, I'm going ahead with that nickname so soon. It's what you use in your tweets and videos and such so I'm just going to carry on from there. 
(This is before I knew Bish was gone, but roll with me here...)


While we're on the subject of names, let's start with my first question: 
How DO you pronounce your name, Douch? I'm going to be honest and tell you I automatically called you what Mac did in his video retort (Mac's response), because I honestly didn't know it should be pronounced differently... so my apologies :S But please, enlighten me so I don't go around calling you a, well, you know.

CD: This is something that catches most people out. Say it like ouch or couch. There's no 'e' so I'm not really sure where the confusion comes from. You wouldn't say "let's go and sit on the couche". I think people just enjoy saying the word and look for every opportunity. It's something that I've grown up with and doesn't bother me. I guess I am a bit of douche so it’s fair enough.

D: Alright, let's get down to business. There are  a lot of things I think many of us following the HAMW campaign have been wondering and I'm going to do my best to address those questions.
Before I delve into HAMW, however, I have to address the fact that you're both male Hanson fans, which is a rare breed indeed. I'm going to cover a few things that would be great to have your opinion on, based on the fact that you're guys and may bring something to the table that the majority of the fan base might not:
You told Tulsa World that you got into Hanson kind of by accident, by playing Underneath in the store you worked at just to be cheeky, and to your surprise, you fell in love with the music. What is it about Hanson that you feel sets them apart from other bands and why does that drive you to be the dedicated fans that you two are?

CD: For us, we just really love the music. They consistently come out with solid albums that never disappoint. We often feel if people weren't so hung up on who Hanson were and actually listen to who Hanson are now, they could be one of the biggest bands in the world. They have the talent. They also have the skill of making their music sound perfect live. Quite often bands can be a let down when you see them on stage because they don't give you what you're looking for, but Hanson always deliver. We've been at gigs that we couldn't afford to get into so stood by the back door and they still sounded great! Their songs are there for whatever mood you're in and you always come away feeling better. In terms of setting them apart, I think that due to their unique position as independent artists, they're constantly trying to stay fresh and keep their fans happy. Fans feel they can get close to the band through meet and greets, signings and private messages on the forums, which again helps them to stand out. All of this AND their constant charity work? What's not to love?

D: In the same article, Bish said that he converted Jennie into a Hanson fan with "Penny and Me."  Is that her favorite Hanson song to date? What is yours- and why?

CD: ‘Penny and Me’ is a great intro song to the band and I think as a result, it sticks with people and is always looked upon fondly. I couldn't say my favourite. I'm a big fan of ‘Hey’ but after the recent tour I fell in love with ‘If Only’ and ‘Wish That I Was There’. Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without a bit of ‘Snowed In’ either.

D: Why is it that you feel Hanson has a predominately female fan base? 

CD:  It's difficult to say, because I believe their music should have an equal appeal to both genders. I think a lot of girls grew up with the band and they've become a hugely important part of their lives. The music has been with them since they were kids so they feel a sense of loyalty towards the guys. It also probably has something to do with the boy's looks! We had a petition with us during the UK tour which include the question "what is your favourite thing about Hanson?" and let's just say a lot of people didn't say the music! It's a shame more guys won't give the band a chance. Outside a recent Manchester show, we spotted three men in the queue without girlfriends. We commented on how great it was to see three men alone at a Hanson show. One of them looked up and said "what...isn't this the line for Zola Jesus?" and walked off. One of our goals for the campaign is to introduce Hanson's music to more people and hopefully we can convince more men that it's okay to like them.

D:You've met all three of the brothers at this point, what was your opinion of the encounters that you have had with them? 

CD:  What really struck us was how down to earth they were. They're all roughly the same age as us and we felt like these were three normal guys that could easily fit into our friendship group. I think a lot of fans are (understandably) a bit star struck when they find themselves face-to-face with the band and end up just staring, not knowing what to say. We found that we could easily have a joke with them and they'd happily play along. I think they enjoyed our talks as much as we did. As you can see in our tour diary videos, we always got a great reaction when they spotted us in the crowd. It could have been a great opportunity for them to say "we're not playing. Stop doing this, you're wasting your time", but they didn't. Instead they bantered with us and kept the campaign going. Isaac even gave us a cheeky “Keep it up…you never know”. Couldn't say which was our favourite brother based on our meetings. They were all equally awesome to us in their own unique ways. If we were judging them totally based on who had the best hat, then Taylor would win. That man can make anything look cool.

D: Okay, now that those bases are covered, let's talk HAMW.
What initially sparked the interest of starting this huge undertaking?

CD:  We've been Hanson fans for years now and our friendship was basically founded on their music. We would listen to Hanson on the way to the shop we worked in, all day over the store's sound system, on the way home, and then through the evening. We went from being unaware of the band's recent (and by recent, I mean Underneath) music, to completely obsessed overnight. When Bish met Jennie, he passed on his love for the group to her and almost straight away they had a joint favourite band. After their engagement, Bish was put in charge of the entertainment for the wedding and it was obvious that their first song would have to be a Hanson track. Jennie's favourite song is Penny and Me so the decision was easy. The two of us have always done things slightly different to normal people, so instead of just giving the track to a DJ or asking a cover band to learn it, we decided to pursue the real deal. We decided to get Hanson at Bish's Wedding. We tried the more normal route to begin with. Emails were sent to 3CG etc but we received no response. We couldn't offer much money but we did have a video camera and internet access. We're big supporters of social media and the opportunity it gives for normal people to speak directly to celebrities that they would normally never come into contact with. We knew that if we kept sending videos and messages, eventually it would get noticed. To our surprise, Zac picked up on it from day two of the campaign. Another aspect that was of interest to us, was the opportunity to pull something unimaginable off. To prove that nothing's impossible and that through hard work and dedication, you can achieve anything. A fan getting their favourite band to travel from another country to play at their wedding…for free? That's insane.

D: Did you expect the response you've received internationally? 

CD: Not really. It was difficult to judge how people would react to us. It could have gone either way; I guess we're just lucky that people have generally been very supportive of the campaign. We have met and received messages from people who disagree with what we're doing and don't believe Hanson should play at the wedding. You're always going to get that. But the majority of people have been really taken by the idea and are getting involved to try and help make this happen. It's amazing that people all over the world are talking about what we're doing. A highlight was seeing Hanson interviewed about us on Brazilian television. It just shows how amazing the internet really is. People from all around send us messages, photos, poems etc in support of the campaign. We really couldn't do this without the support of everyone who watches the videos or gets in touch. We've hit some low points along the way, then we receive a random email from someone who just wants to say they love what we're doing and it picks us back up. If we had done this and no one caught wind of our efforts and it was just us sending daily videos without any feedback, we probably wouldn't have gone the distance.

D: How in the world is it possible that Jennie hasn't found out about this yet?! You're on HNet, twitter, in media articles, she's got to have some idea at this point, right? 

CD:  This is one of the most common questions that we're asked and very understandably so. Jennie isn't a big internet person. She checks her Facebook/email and looks at wedding stuff online. She doesn't go on forums, news sites or Twitter. We've stayed clear of local press and have kept this between a select group of family and friends. We're aware how easily this could leak out so are doing everything in our power to keep it secret. I've deleted Jennie off Facebook (she's also my boss so I told her it's to keep business and social life separate) so she can't see the fan page. Bish once had a radio interview and instigated an argument with Jennie so that she went to bed and he was able to call in unheard. Hopefully this will all pay off to see the look on her face when Hanson take to the stage on her special day.

D: If Hanson were to play at the wedding, what would you hope to be the song they played for the first dance? 

CD:  The goal is Penny and Me tweaked slightly into Jennie and Me.

D: If they were to come, which would presumably mean that Mac would also be present (based on his response), would you be willing to bust out a sweet keytar solo, as well? 

CD:  We love Mac. He's been great to us during the campaign. We've had some really long Twitter conversations and he's publicly supported the campaign on various occasions. Receiving that video message from him was another highlight. A Hanson brother singing about sleeping with Bish's fiancé? Amazing. Mac is welcome at the wedding and those sweet keytar solos will only make the day more magical. In an ideal world, Mac would be our best friend. We’d happily party with him.

D: Is it true that you're willing to pay for all three members of Hanson to fly out to play the wedding?
CD: Yep! Bish has said that he could stretch funds to pay for the band to fly over. They really have no excuse not to now. We'd happily have an unplugged Hanson show. We don't need all the fancy instruments, equipment and road team. We've seen footage of the band playing in an office with Zac drumming on a table or a bin or something like that and they sounded incredible.


D:What has been your family and friends' response to HAMW? 

CD:  Not that many people know about it. We've kept it quiet so there's a greater element of surprise at the wedding. People know what we're like though. They're used to us doing this kind of thing (we once went on a road trip where we only made left turns and another time traveled to New York to do an hour long comedy show with no previous experience) so those who are aware just see it as classic Bish and Douch. When we began, a lot of them asked us the same question “why?” Most people doubted that we would pull it off but as things have gone on, I think they're starting to believe. Some of our friends have also joined us outside gigs and helped to hold our banner and give out stickers. Family have been supportive too. My Mum watches every day and has become a bit of a Hanson fan as a result. Jennie’s Mum is also a dedicated viewer. I think Bish is already scoring big points with his Mother in Law to be.

D: Most importantly, why should Hanson play the wedding? 

CD:  As Taylor has said on various occasions, he's impressed by our dedication. We've done this every day for nearly 400 days and will continue all the way up to the 28th July 2012. We've put everything we can into this. Keeping this alive has been more difficult than you might imagine. It really has consumed our lives. Yes, we've met people that are "bigger fans" of the band (if you're judging fandom by the amount of debt they've built from attending Hanson shows and buying merchandise etc) but Bish is the first person to seriously ask this question. Obviously people have wanted it before but have dismissed the idea as impossible and haven't pursued it in the way that we have. I'd like the band to agree to play, not just for us but for everyone who has supported the campaign. I think a lot of people will be let down if they don't do this. We ideally would like to stream (or at least record) the show so everyone can feel a part of the event. They should play to show that dreams are worthwhile and you can make things happen if you don't give up.  I also think they should come so we don't have to explain to Jennie that we've wasted 529 days of our lives!

D: Last but not least, tell the world a little about the both of you...
We KNOW you're The British Comedy Duo. But what does that entail? Do you do shows of some sort, or are you just two hilarious dudes that are friends? 

CD:  We've been a "comedy duo" for five years now. We always wanted to write for television but didn't want to just send in material with the hope that it somehow made its way to the top of the endless pile. Instead we decided to make YouTube videos to showcase our writing. These gained a bit of a following and we were able to attract a few big names like David Cross, Kristen Schaal and Andrew WK to appear in our sketches. We started doing live shows and performed on comedy nights around the UK as well as the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and New York City. Through all this we had the opportunity to write for various TV shows in the UK. So far this has included BBC comedies, The Impressions Show and Watson & Oliver. We always try to play down our background and do not use HAMW to promote other work. We’ve had sketches and things come out but we do not mention these through the HAMW Facebook or Tumblr as we don’t want to be seen as using the campaign to advertise our work. We're aware that our comedy background has slightly hindered our campaign. People often see it and assume that HAMW is some kind of prank. This isn't the case at all. I think we've proved how serious we are now. If anyone is likely to end up being the butt of the joke, it's us. On the flip side of that, the comedy element has helped to keep the campaign entertaining and accessible to people who aren't dedicated Hanson fans. This is the kind of thing that could be creepy or weird; we like to think that by making this fun, we've stayed on the right side of freaky.

D: Have you been Bishop and Douch- besties- for a while? How long have you been friends? 

CD:  I wouldn't call us besties, but I also wouldn't call us worsties. We have an odd relationship. At times it's business like but we also think of ourselves as parents with joint custody of a HAMW baby that we both have a responsibility to look after. We discuss its welfare and say things like "you do the video today and I'll do the weekend". Obviously everything we do is built on friendship; I mean I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't like the guy. As we've mentioned before, I'm not Bish's best man and he's not mine (I'm also getting married but I'm keeping things a bit more simple!) but we've known each other since 2004 and plan to continue hanging out and working on projects until way after HAMW is over. No idea what we're going to do next but I know it won't be "Get [CELEBRITY] at My [EVENT]". This is the kind of thing that can only ever be done once. After this (whether we pull it off or not) it won't be an option again. It'll be done. For that reason the argument that "if Hanson play at Bish's wedding, they'll have to play at everyone's" is complete rubbish.

D: What is the craziest or most memorable thing you have done as a comedy duo? 

CD:  Apart from sending Hanson daily videos for 529 days? A few stories come to mind. Sadly a lot of the more interesting ones involve famous people and we may get into trouble if we tell them! We've had some pretty crazy times, but we do actively look for opportunities for a good story. We've been in some horrible situations but always think "hey, at least this will be an incredible story". I think a lot of our best times together have occurred while traveling. We like getting to see different places and meeting new friends. We met a lot of great Fansons back in November while traveling behind Hanson on their UK tour.

D: Considering that is quite a list of questions, and I could honestly talk Hanson for days, I should stop myself here. You are both wonderful and I really enjoy your videos. Already on day 393! Here's to hoping for that magical "yes" sooner than later! 

CD:  So do we! It would be nice to go to bed without worrying if we've put up a video or not!

Thank you, Douch, for taking the time to answer my questions and fill us all in on all that is HAMW.  I'm pulling for you all the way and look forward to hearing the response from Hanson for all of your hard work.

Congratulations to both you and Bish for your upcoming weddings!  
Wishing you years of happiness ahead :)

Check out Bishop and Douch's  HAMW sites: 

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