This time of year we're supposed to be thankful, but I've been finding myself in that mindset often. It's not because I'm #blessed or have some charmed life, but because I have been forced to appreciate what is real to me. 

How I got here is important, but not worth mentioning yet another time. But I am going to give mention to the things that I am so grateful for today, because it's important to name them and give them some weight in terms of significance. 

I'm thankful 

For parents that are so supportive and loving, especially when that involves being patient with my mess and growth.

A man who understands and walks with me in every moment, who works hard to build a life for us, and shows me through his actions that  he loves me in the realest way. I love that I get to be a part of his kiddo's life and experience so much with the three of us together. It's truly my favorite and I'd never trade it for anything.

His amazing family who lets me be a part of their own.

Friends that are there without condition, even if they are few they are quality and I appreciate them so much more than they know. They have shown me how to become a better friend myself.  

Loss that has taught me to tell people I love them and to send the text, or do the quick drop ins just to say hi because it's always over too soon. 

Several goodbyes have also shown me that holding on too long to someone or something that isn't good for you does more damage than walking away when it's time. I'm grateful for that lesson because it has made me so much wiser in my judgement. 

Most importantly, I'm grateful for the chance to continue growing into whoever it is I'm to become. We're never done with that process but we definitely go through stages where we're more refined than others. I'm proud of who I am today, even if I have so much about me that's imperfect. I'm proud of my books I've written and the things I've had the opportunity to do with my writing in the metal music world. Mostly I'm just proud of taking the chance to get here because this is where I was always meant to be. I'm glad to finally experience the world with eyes that see what is simple and good and natural. I'm excited to keep challenging myself and trying the things that make my heart fuller every time. I can't wait to see even more views of mountain tops and sunsets from spots I can't even describe. 

So that's my list. I'm thankful that there's so much I get to put on it this year. And for once, it's nice just to sit with that and not worry about what might be next or when. 

What are you thankful for this year?

Cheryl and Kevin's love story

 

I used to have this dream about a tall man with darker skin. I could never see his face but I knew that he was handsome and I had this feeling that he was the person I was meant to be with. 

Over the years, whenever I would go somewhere I would always keep that in the back of my mind if I saw a man that looked kind of like that. One time I was in Northern California and when we stopped for gas, I saw this guy that was tall. He had darker skin, and was really handsome. He looked right at me and we stared at each other for a minute, but there was no connection and we never saw each other again after that so I figured he must not have been the one. 

Later on when I was working in the mill, I met Kevin's girlfriend. She was pretty and nice and funny and she pointed him out to me and said something about wanting to get her another man. So I said to her, "You better not look twice then if you leave him because he's going to be mine!" She told me, oh yeah? And next thing I knew she had dumped him and moved away. It wasn't long before he started tossing little pieces of wood at my butt from the cut line above me, and we became best friends. We worked next to each other for years after that. 

As we got to know each other and got to talking, we started noticing that our paths crossed over the years, all over the place. One time he was stationed in the south for the army and I happened to be in the same exact town the week of 4th of July that year. He told me about his family going to Antelope Reservoir a lot when he was growing up, and I told him I used to go there and fish. We realized that the family I used to see lined up and fishing along the top of the reservoir by the dam was he and his parents and brothers! 

There have just been so many things, some I can't even remember right now but there is one big one!

Kevin and his family have always spent lots of time hunting over by Fossil, and every year they have a family meeting to decide what units they want to put in for tags on. They get the map out and mark the areas they want to be in and all that. Well one year after we'd just gotten married, I was there when they had the meeting. They got to talking about this one remote part of fossil where there's this cabin they wanted to try to use while they were out there. I got to looking and realized the area looked really familiar, so I looked a little closer and saw that they were talking about a place I'd been lots more times than any of them ever had! 

I started laughing and told them I knew exactly where that cabin was and they told me that there was no way. I said I sure did know and asked if they would like me to call the property owner and ask permission to use it! They had been talking about my best friend Jerry's place. I love that man, he looks and sounds just like Willie Nelson and he's a great person. So I called him up and Kevin just looked at me and couldn't believe that we all knew of this same place and person. 

We've been through so much over the years and we've always been able to talk; we're so connected to each other.

When we first met at the mill, I made him chase me around for months. He asked me over and over to go out with him and I kept saying no. But one day, I finally agreed that he could come over but we were only going to watch a movie- not go anywhere else or do anything. So he came over and we got to smooching and the second I kissed that man I knew he was the one from the dream. Isn't that crazy? I just could feel it. And you know how I know he is? I never had the dream about the tall, dark skinned, handsome man ever again after that day.