This time of year we're supposed to be thankful, but I've been finding myself in that mindset often. It's not because I'm #blessed or have some charmed life, but because I have been forced to appreciate what is real to me. 

How I got here is important, but not worth mentioning yet another time. But I am going to give mention to the things that I am so grateful for today, because it's important to name them and give them some weight in terms of significance. 

I'm thankful 

For parents that are so supportive and loving, especially when that involves being patient with my mess and growth.

A man who understands and walks with me in every moment, who works hard to build a life for us, and shows me through his actions that  he loves me in the realest way. I love that I get to be a part of his kiddo's life and experience so much with the three of us together. It's truly my favorite and I'd never trade it for anything.

His amazing family who lets me be a part of their own.

Friends that are there without condition, even if they are few they are quality and I appreciate them so much more than they know. They have shown me how to become a better friend myself.  

Loss that has taught me to tell people I love them and to send the text, or do the quick drop ins just to say hi because it's always over too soon. 

Several goodbyes have also shown me that holding on too long to someone or something that isn't good for you does more damage than walking away when it's time. I'm grateful for that lesson because it has made me so much wiser in my judgement. 

Most importantly, I'm grateful for the chance to continue growing into whoever it is I'm to become. We're never done with that process but we definitely go through stages where we're more refined than others. I'm proud of who I am today, even if I have so much about me that's imperfect. I'm proud of my books I've written and the things I've had the opportunity to do with my writing in the metal music world. Mostly I'm just proud of taking the chance to get here because this is where I was always meant to be. I'm glad to finally experience the world with eyes that see what is simple and good and natural. I'm excited to keep challenging myself and trying the things that make my heart fuller every time. I can't wait to see even more views of mountain tops and sunsets from spots I can't even describe. 

So that's my list. I'm thankful that there's so much I get to put on it this year. And for once, it's nice just to sit with that and not worry about what might be next or when. 

What are you thankful for this year?