Memory lane can be a difficult place to visit.
Sometimes all you want is the warmth of a reminiscent moment.
Yet when you arrive there it can hurt so bad.
Worse than rubbing salt in an open wound, it makes your soul ache, and want.
Oh the bliss of one more smile, laugh, or word from your missing piece.
Yet it can never come.
You see, the bittersweet reality of memory lane is it is comprised of simply memories.
The best healing we can receive is to know that those lost were never lost, only delivered home before us and one day, we'll all be together again.

Until that day, we'll be content to travel the road paved with times gone by and endure the heartache that comes of taking the trip.

Besides, what is love if it never was earned with sacrifice?

Screaming into mailboxes

I heard the most incredible story at church today from our pastor and I really feel that it's worth sharing.


A man our pastor knows, who is now a strong man of God got saved in the "Christian Movement" of the 60's. We're talking straight out of drug culture and into the light kind of salvation, very powerful and passionate.

Well, shortly after he accepted Jesus into his heart, this man was driving home. Suddenly, he was stricken with the voice of God, telling him to turn immediately in a direction he was not going. The man felt like this was a little crazy, to say the least, but he felt strongly that this command was real, so he took a step of faith and turned. What happened next made him question his sanity temporarily.

As he pulled up to the road he'd been asked to follow, the man got out of his car and wondered what was next. "Open that mailbox and yell into it- Jesus loves you!" Those were his next instructions. Undoubtedly feeling awkward and questioning this motif, the born again hippie screamed of his Lord's love into a mailbox in a silent neighborhood.

Alright, that was weird, the man thought, but there must have been a purpose, right? Before he could contemplate his actions any longer, he was asked again to shout into the mailbox, this time adding at the end "and He died for you." Oh boy, this was getting strange, but why stop here.
"Jesus loves you and He died for you," the man screamed into the open mailbox for the last time.

As he was getting ready to step back into his car, a half dressed man came bursting out his front door and explained that just moments before, he'd had a rope around his neck and he'd intended to kill himself. Only, he told God, if He loved him, he needed to know NOW. Just as this man had said this prayer, he heard the words, "Jesus loves you and He died for you!" echoing throughout his neighborhood and he knew it was a special message just for him.

The request by God to fulfill His part in this situation is blaringly obvious at the end, but to us, mere humans, it seemed  borderline strange in the beginning. This story speaks so clearly to me the message that God always has a plan and a purpose. It is a huge blessing if we are chosen to be tools to carry that out. No matter the perceived oddity, God's requests are always valid and are always to be followed. We aren't always meant to see the bigger picture, perhaps we are just meant to be a part of it.

I know I have passed up probably great opportunities that God has spoken to my heart about that may have changed the course of someone's life for Him. I needed this reminder to be urged to follow His voice, for it is really the only one that matters.

Here's To You, Hanson

*Disclaimer: this post is based solely on my opinion of the band and is not a reflection of Hanson's opinions, thoughts, feelings, etc.

(soul+pop)+ humor x (integrity^compassion) = success  > corporate control+ greed x canned hits = mediocrity

   Throughout their nineteen years and five studio albums, Hanson has made apparent that this is indeed the perfect equation for a successful band. It's one that not many artists of their time have had the chops to solve. From day one, there was something different about these brothers and their desire for their art. But how have they gone about maintaining such longevity in the darkening world of music? It all started in their roots.
   Over the years, Hanson has made numerous references to the fact that their passion for music started with the greats. The soulful sounds of Otis Redding and Aretha Franklin filled their hearts and ears at an early age, along with many artists that are now considered R&B, pop, and rock royalty. However, this old school taste is not common among many our age as favorite genre(s), especially before you're a teenager. Yet, Isaac (Ike), Taylor (Tay) and Zac didn't seem too concerned with this fact, because let's be honest, they know great music when they hear it! They turned this appreciation for mid century magic into an evolution of sound, something that was relevant to their generation. Though MMMBop doesn't scream Al Green influence, it's undeniable that in the foundation of Hanson's sound, you will always find reference to the music that started it all for them. It's in the heart of the music itself.
   When their first hit took over the airwaves and charts, it was hard to imagine anything bigger than that moment for Hanson. They were featured in every magazine sold to tweens and monopolized virtually every media source. It truly was the golden age for Hanson. Their being nominated for 3 Grammys is proof that even as they were teens, the world was in the presence of immense musical talent. However, it seems as if they knew, as intelligent entrepreneurial young men, that "MMMBop!" could not be it for them. Their talent far exceeded one hit wonder status. So, what did they do to avoid the "flash in the pan?"
   Hanson fought tooth and nail to create the music they wrote, composed, and created themselves. However, the corporate music world flexed its muscle several times, strangling their creative efforts and attempting to quiet their intense passion for what they do. Ike, Tay and Zac endured this control for This Time Around (the second studio album), following the huge success of Middle of Nowhere (Hanson's frosh studio album), only to find that it was impossible to continue on under a changing label that didn't support their free artistic ability. As Underneath was created, they fought the brunt of this battle and realized that the only way up in their career, was out of this stronghold. They broke free from the chains of the label and made what was  likely the most difficult professional decision they have had to face: to go it alone as an independent unit.
   It takes more than guts to do what these men did when they created 3cg (3 car garage) record label; it required a great deal of integrity. When the cards are stacked against oneself, escape isn't an option, and misery is present, an easy wound dressing is more money to make it better. By giving in to their oppressors, Hanson could have had the money and commercial fame again, possibly to the extent they experienced in the Middle Of Nowhere days. But they had already experienced that and fought to create something better that they personally believed in. They were literally willing to sacrifice everything they had professionally to make this bold stance, if it meant that the true fiber of their craft would be preserved. Ike, Tay and Zac are well known for being upstanding guys, and as you can see, it is for great reason.
   At a time when music television was being flooded with raunchy songs about cars, money and loose women, Hanson was starting from scratch and going organic- creating music that was pure, real and free of corporate control. If you watch the Strong Enough to Break series (which I HIGHLY suggest), you can see how difficult the battle must have been, and how sweet the victory in the end. Becoming an independent band was just another step in their path of positive influence to a generation of individuals with a shrinking pool of role models to draw from.
   As someone who has merely meddled in music theory and introductory piano, even I can say that the raw musical talent that Hanson holds is not at all by happenstance. All three of them have skills that aren't created, they are woven into your being. It's no accident that they can write a song that cuts straight to the heart, or that the instrumental makes the fans soul throb.This is the result of true ability that doesn't come along but very few times in a generation, if society is even that fortunate. If you have ever glanced at the sheet music for Shout It Out, you know what I'm talking about! This is not your mickey mouse band, it is nothing less than a musical standard that's been set, high enough to make any competition sweat in an attempt to compare.
   With skills as honed as theirs are, one may expect Hanson to gloat a bit. This is not one of their qualities as a band, however. In an interview, Taylor made reference to the fact that in the music business, artists have to be able to be narcissistic enough to create a career about themselves, which is a blunt and mature observation (http://www.bestofneworleans.com/blogofneworleans/archives/2011/09/23/interview-taylor-hanson). However, what sets these guys apart from the rest is that they seem to be in tune with the difference between dripping self adoration and minor necessary narcissism. Such a balance cannot be easy to maintain while living in the spotlight.
   Perhaps what helps keep them humble is that they make every effort to plug in personally with those that allow their work to continue its success: their fans. Whether it be meet and greets, Members Only Events, tour contests, From Us To You entries, tweets, or returned private messages on HNet, Hanson is very connected with their ever faithful fan base. But if you think you'll find them sleezing around the fans for the wrong attention, you are sadly mistaken. Part of the clean image they maintain stems from all three guys' true devotion to their personal families. What you MAY find them doing,however, is playing a full amped set, complete with sweat, dancing and beautiful music, only to meet their fans outside the tour bus to say hello, sign merchandise and take hundreds of pictures before heading on the road again. How's that for dedication?  Hanson ensures that every show is an experience, because they appreciate their fans that much. This is the only band I have seen do respectful justice to providing the supply for our fan base demand in this business deal was are so proud to be a part of.
   OK, so Hanson has faced adversity, overcome the odds and continues to blow us away with gorgeous tunes. That should be enough, right? Evidently it is not enough for them. They took things a step further, literally. After visiting Uganda and working with several children and other folks there, Hanson brought back their passion for the people of Africa and chose to start an initiative to help them. Thus The Walk was born. The album of music that is heavy in people centered-ness and an overall sense of compassion is only a small part of this effort. Each night of that tour, all three guys set out, barefoot with their devoted fans and walked a mile to feel empathy for the many, many children and families that are not fortunate enough to have something as simple as shoes. It's rumored that they still take The Walk before shows on occasion these days, and I have every intention of experiencing this with Hanson, to be part of something so much bigger than myself. However, we don't have to wait until the next show to give back,Take The Walk has all of this information and more. Check it out to see how you can provide basic necessities for someone who truly needs your help.
   With such giving hearts and career focused minds, one could make the assumption that these three men are always quite serious. I can think of three songs to instantly foil that theory: Balls In The Water, Devil's Nachos, and Natalie Portman song. Look them up, they do not disappoint! Anyone who has seen Hanson in action can appreciate their silly quips. It seems as if alone, they'd probably be goofy, but together, they are a well oiled humor machine that could go on forever with Kermit impressions and quirky innuendos. (check out vh1's Sibling superlatives for a good dose of goof  http://on.vh1.com/i20jc9 ) From the beginning, the guys have fed off of each other for material but as they've aged, their humor has ripened to what is one of my personal favorite attributes of the band. Thank goodness not everyone takes themselves too seriously these days!
   As I sit here, compiling this list of great accomplishments and undertakings of these men, I am coming to realize something magnificent. In the same way that Otis Redding sculpted their desire for music, Hanson has begun to influence mine. How strange it must seem to them to be compared to the likes of such a musical giant! Yet they have earned this acknowledgement, as I am a fan of great music, compassion, and integrity. Many of us living in this world have lost what it means to stand for something, to really BECOME somebody, and yet Hanson has not.
   What Hanson has proven to me is that in every aspect of their career, they deserve to be paid homage by their fans, exactly as they have identified the prestige of the men and women who sparked the fire for their future as musicians.

   Here's to you Hanson, for being who you are, no matter who is listening. It is truly an honor to be part of this experience and to share the musical ride with you.

How sweet life can taste when all is laid out before you, in life's simplistic, perfect, beauty. Each comforting smell, sight, sound, touch and taste is connected, contributing to the stronghold by which one adheres, knowing that these reinforcements are constant and unchanging. Yet, because these wonderful experiences are bountiful, they become taken advantage of. Their sacredness and meaning can fade with time. Then all is gray, bland, no longer shimmering and pleasant. In the midst of this ungrateful period, one can get caught off guard; for when all that was cherished becomes extinct to the senses, how can life be carried on with meaning?

To stumble back upon wobbly feet, blinded eyes and deaf ears, one requires special aid- a caring soul that can endure life's greatest challenge: teaching one to live anew.  Though at first it seems impossible to taste the same fruit, hear the very same harmony and see the beauty of before, all hope is not lost. For this guardian withholds abundant patience, unending love, faith from within, and trust that all will soon be restored. Slowly, with the slightest shove, they lead this numb soul to take the first step into a new life. With painfully slow progression, the blinded eyes are given sight, for their handicap has been lifted. The dull taste buds once again savor the juices of joy. Songbirds and babbling creeks rejuvenate the muted lobes.  Newly budded lillies and sweet grasses invigorate the remaining sense, now recovered from it's dormancy. As cheeks become flushed and life is recovered, the rehabilitated looks for the teacher only to find themselves. Our heart, our faith, our courage is our guiding force. We are our own mentor when all color fades.


Again I say, all hope is not lost, for it was only ever hiding, waiting for the perfect moment to give birth to this genesis that is today.  Never cease to admire all of the perfection around you, someone flawless and divine created it with just you in mind.

I want to be tiny
And invincible
To bury my head in the sand
And find treasures while there
I want childlike innocence
And courage enough to fly
To be out until dusk
And to play with mud in a dress
I want to be reckless
And have no fear
I want to look up to the big kids
And only pretend to be old
To go school shopping
And worry about my first day outfit
I want to live in a perfect world
To believe that all is well, always
I long to visit my childhood
And experience it's beauty for just one more second...

A few of my favorite things

I don't know why, but I want to list my favorite things. So there!

Yellow
Purple (not with yellow, don't be hatin on me Lakers fans!)
Autumn chill
Sparkling lemonade
MUSIC
dancing
my husband's laugh
new socks
writing for an audience of 1
old family portraits
nostalgia of any kind
the 90's
skirts
wedges
college football
cold sheets
walking in bare feet
my dad's carpentry
the fact that mom doesn't say goodbye on the phone
my dog and his pet rock
clean smelling houses
warm laundry
lavender
lemongrass
my football collection
my brother's taste in movies
being cool (temperature-wise, silly!)

We've all done it, looked back and said "If I had a chance, I'd do ________ over." Well, like a great song says, if I could write a letter to me when I was younger it would include the following:

God should never be forgotten or come second to anyone, even if He's not "cool" to your peers
Never be afraid to befriend another
Don't shy away from your good heart or intentions
When you feel like something is wrong, it is
Hug your grandparents just a little bit tighter and a little bit longer, it'll be worth it in the end
It's ok not to go with the flow in high school
Death unfortunately does not discriminate by age. It is real and can touch those you love, even when you're young
LOVE being young and without responsibility, you're going to miss it
Don't be afraid of people. Behind each bad intention lies a deeper fear. Reach out to those you naturally fear, it could change their life, or yours.
Don't judge based on looks, money, or reputation. You aren't fit to judge, anyway. Love everyone.
Being different doesn't mean you're weird. It means you know who you are and accept it.
Realize how amazing your family is. Many are not so lucky as you.
NEVER tell your parents you hate them, even if you are furious. They will turn out to be some of your best friends.
Be patient for your husband, it's worth it
Act on your passion for music, you won't regret it.
Don't be discouraged by others' judgements against you. It reflects insecurity in themselves.
Always, always, always dance.
Stand up and speak out against injustice against others.
Tell your friends what they mean to you every chance you get.
Always let your family know you love them.
Learn from everything.
Listen to your heart, not the chorus.
Life experiences are not nearly as rich as they're made out to be in college. Spare yourself.
Set yourself apart, you're called to it.
Enjoy every moment you're blessed with.
You will grow up to live a life you don't expect, but love passionately.